Constance van Niekerk
Tell me, how do you know when the person you’ve fallen in love with has also fallen in love with you? Is it in the kiss? Is it how your heart skips a beat every time you see the person, or is it the butterflies in your stomach when you see the person’s name on an incoming call notification? Is it because you can’t stop thinking about the person? I’m curious.
This is my own opinion, if we measure someone else’s feelings using our own feelings, then we’re in trouble. While we are having sleepless nights because we’re in love, what is the other person doing? When you feel like talking to them, do they also want to talk to you? Do they pick up when you call at midnight or they don’t pick up because they’re sleeping while you are restless (and sleepless in Seattle 😂😂😂 (I couldn’t resist it)
Seriously, how do you know you’re not riding solo on the highway of love? The harsh reality is, not everyone you fall in love with also falls in love with you. Some take advantage of your feelings for them and use you. Have you not heard the song by The Jolly Brothers? “You got to be a conscious man, when you fall in love”. It’s not only men who ought to keep their wits with them, women too!
Wait, check if the other person loves you like you love them. If they’re honest, they’ll probably tell you that they’re not looking for a serious relationship, just some fun. Unfortunately, not everyone is honest so, you have to open your eyes and check their actions. Do they make time for you? Do they also initiate communication, or are you the one always calling and texting? Do they take you out in public, or are you only together indoors? Many people these days don’t want to commit, but they want all the perks that come from a commitment. Watch out for the signs, some are into the ‘no strings attached affairs’, when you believe you have found Mr/ Ms Right, and they’re probably Mr/ Ms ‘Right Now’. Sometimes we break our own hearts by trusting them to the wrong people.
Take your time, it’s better to be with a person who loves you back, than someone who doesn’t. You can’t fake love. Sooner or later things fall apart and you are left alone to pick up the pieces. Don’t hold on to people who don’t want to be in your life. Don’t use feelings where you’re supposed to use your brains. When you realise that your love is not reciprocated, accept it. The truth hurts, but better to be hurt by the truth than the lies.
Love is patient. Love doesn’t force matters. Love is not selfish. Love doesn’t manipulate. It is probably some or all of these things that made Percy Sledge croon, “Take time to know her. Love is not an overnight thing.’ We can, of course substitute ‘her’ with ‘him’ and sing, ‘Take time to know him.”
But, what do I know anyway, these are just the ramblings of a bored writer 😂😂😂