As my uncontrollable mind wanders away,
The vivid picture of horror resurface.
The picture that brings never ending torture,
Torture to an already tortured soul.
I can’t stop regretting about my life,
A precious life I wasted,
Precious chances I flushed down the drain.
Too ashamed now that I can’t even face the Lord,
So ashamed that I can’t even ask for for forgiveness or a second chance.
As it is written in the scriptures,
One who sows sorghum shall reap sorghum,
And the wages of sin is death.
Now that I made myself an obsolete reject,
My once promising life is now in turmoil.
Gone are the days,
Plump and cheerful with a clear vision and a promising future,
A vision drilled into my delicate young mind by my tutors and elders.
The Lord had shone His holy light in my path,
Carelessly I blew it out.
All that remains are just memories of bygone days,
Painful and sweet memories.
Very active and in control of my life I was,
Now that I can’t even control my sphincters,
Least of all control my bladder.
Now as I lay on this creaky bed,
The bed that has become my permanent confinement,
My final place as I wait for the final day,
My patience to the maximum I’ve stretched,
In anticipation of my final day,
The day the will of Jehovah shall be fulfilled,
The will of man to return to dust…whence he came from,
And become another pre-adult AIDS statistic.
As I lay on this creaky bed,
My wish to my family, pity they must not feel,
But to bear with me in my final struggle,
A battle I lost in the beginning,
As of my former friends and peers,
Friends who long abandoned me,
To learn from my experience,
For this is my testimony to all,
To the world at large,
To accept the cold reality,
The reality that AIDS is real,
And curb this pandemic threatening to wipe my generation.
by Tapiwa Leslie M.
Tapiwa L Munyari is a Zimbabwean poet residing in Harare.